Inside The Sane Asylum...Saturn retrograde

The June Full Moon Conversation between Dr. Ego and Jess Ben Rambling 

Doc: “Well Jess, here we are again pondering away our lives looking for the full moon.

Jess: Yep, I can’t believe I stopped doing nothing to come listen to your philosophy about the full Moon again.

Doc: Well Jess, the June full moon is a very important one. It is dominated by a powerful conjunction to Saturn retrograde. During the next two weeks you are likely to feel more serious than usual and experience sadness, guilt, fear, restriction or inhibition. They even say it affects your memory and you can’t afford to loose anymore memory Jess.

Jess: Did I tell you I went to see the doctor about my memory loss?

Doc: No you didn’t mention that. What did he tell you.

Jess: Well when I told him I was experiencing memory loss, he said  I would have to pay in advance.

Doc: I can’t remember the last time I forgot something.

Jess: Doc, do you know the more you say the less I remember?

Doc:  Jess, I think a clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. And there is another thing for you to think about...doing nothing is actually doing something...

Jess: Have you ever heard the saying, never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore entirely?

Doc: I don’t remember that one but why remember quotes when you can make them up? Jess, do you ever wonder why "abbreviation" is such a long word?

Jess: Doc, sometimes I think I might be crazy.

Doc: Why is that Jess?

Jess: I sometimes feel I am schizophrenic. Am I crazy?

Doc: Probably, we are all crazy, but you have an advantage over most.

Jess: How’s that?

Doc: You know it...and besides, this full moon thing is working against you.

Jess: Well Doc, I think you just made all that s**t up...just now.

Doc: Jess, I think this waxing gibbous is getting to you.

Beach Chair Therapy...

I am obliged to perform what I consider my duty. I must guard this mighty fortress, CASTILLO DE SAN MARCOS.

The military stores were seized this morning by the order of the governor. A Company of volunteer soldiers marched to the barracks and took possession of me, and demanded peaceable possession of the keys of the fort and magazine. I demanded them to show me their authority. An aide-de-camp of the governor showed me his letter of instructions authorizing him to seize the property, and directing him to use what force might be necessary.

Upon reflection I decided that the only alternative for me was to deliver the keys, under protest, and demand a receipt for the property. One thing certain, with the exception of the guns composing the armament of the water battery, the property seized is of no great value.

The gentleman acting under the governor’s instructions has promised to receipt to me for the stores along with another rum and coke...

So it is this day under my umbrella, enjoying that rum and coke. After all, it’s therapy...Doc

From Inside The Sane Asylum...over yonder

Over yonder a ways...

I spent a lot of my professional time working up north. That would be anything north of Louisiana. When I introduced myself to anyone, they always said “you talk funny.”

Well I suppose I do. My language evolved from the influence of a lot of country sayings. For example, “Y’all” is always used when you are referring to more than one person and “all y’all” is used when you want to give a stern warning to y’all. Like when you say, “ Now all y’all can just take a flying leap up....”. I’m trying to clean up my cursing, so you can fill in the blanks.

In my part of the world, you never knew where anyone actually lived. When you ask anyone where they lived they would just point and say, “over yonder a ways.” So, to go visit anyone the directions to their house would go something like this...” Well, you go over yonder a ways, cross over the tracks, take the dirt road to the left and drive to you get to the dogs laying in the road and you will see the house on the left...just pass the dogs.”

Another favorite of mine was, “I reckon I’m fixing to.” Means you just might get up and do something when you get a round to it. If you suggest that someone do something, they more than likely with tell you, “I might could do that. Let me think bout it.”

But my favorite of all was, “Bless your little

heart.” It always meant, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but you are an idiot...

I came from a rich background of culture with strong characters and I am grateful for those experiences...now don’t take this wrong but “bless your pea picking heart.”

I would write more, but I have to put the chickens to roost. Enjoy your evening...Doc

From Inside The Sane Asylum...Front Porch Therapy

Front Porch Therapy

Coconut Water

Each Monday and Thursday afternoon, around five, there is a gathering of this workout group. I don’t know the name of their group, but it reminds me of P.E. Class back in Junior High. The only difference seems to be in purpose?

Back then, it was this Presidential Fitness Program. Not because we were fat but just because someone decided the kids needed to be more fit. Not tougher, but fit. My guess...quicker response time to get you under your desk. As we grew older and larger, we needed to be fit to fold under that small desk when we practiced incoming Russian Nukes. I remember Coach Montgomery saying “you will thank me one day.”

My homeroom class got pretty good at The nuke drill. Ranked right up there with the top performers. I always worried about the slower classes. I was afraid they may not make it in time. I remember how good it felt when it was over. The bell would ring and you could now get back in your little desk. Remember all the initial carvings in the top of the desk? Always looking to make sure your girlfriend wasn’t plussing someone else.

Remember the Red Cross drives in school? Give 10 cents and they gave you this little bend on tin button with the Red Cross symbol. I was always so proud to clip it on the pocket of my shirt. What a dumb ass I was at times. But I was fit. We all got this Presidential Fitness certificate to prove it.

Back to this fitness group that gathers across this little pond I live on. It started just after the first of the year. One of those Resolution Groups. It was quiet large back in January but a few months later there are only a handful remaining. Very fit I must say. Their coach yelling, “get the lead out of your ass, your grandma can run faster than you, you think this funny, this is your life, you will thank me one day!”

Apparently the fitness group has a way to single out the less fit and inflict a little shame. They make them run three laps around the pond, just because they did not get the lead out. Well, my front porch is a little hidden as they make their way around, so for the last few weeks, I offer the shamed ones a glass of coconut water as they round my porch.
Do they take it? Hell yes. They take all they can get. Hell, I have to run them off so they want get in more trouble. Nothing like seeing a smile on an almost fit body.

Thanks Couch Montgomery. You said I would thank you one day ...Doc