Journal Entry...09/07/18
Questions I Ask Myself
My heart hurts
from pouring it out so much
It is full and overflowing
so I drip it into an empty vessel
a silent ghostship
and hold my breath
for the echo
that does not return
My soul plays to an empty room
and I think that's the tune
of the human condition...
I have always considered my time on scribblingon my blog as my hobby, and also a way I can collect my thoughts in a format that is reproducible. Reproducible?
I share most of my thoughts that I collect in my journal on my blog Dr. Ego Prozac-Underground. I put it together a few years ago to share my thoughts, and connect with my reality family and friends. Connecting with reality family and friends in a digital form...for what ever reason.
I guess I have this need to share some of my thoughts with others. I call those, personality orders...not personality dis-orders. We all have them. Some more intense than others, but they are with us every step of the way. It’s my way of looking at the world and how I fit in it to survive. Maybe even Thrive, if I practice it a bit more. Consciousness or conscious living, I believe it is called.
What I have found to be true, is...others need to share their thoughts with others. Connections, I think they call them. My, how people tend to need each other.
That places us in a unique spot, you and I...seems we share the same hobby of making connections with others. Each message sent, maybe a way of just saying “I’m alive”...I have these feelings, these obsessions, these things we label ourselves that has created a hobby of making connections.
You have told me many times, “I’m not here to be seen, this hobby is just for me and I don’t care who sees it.” Have you been told that also? I wonder if they turn their notifications off?
I try to imagine why I do this?
I could go fishing...but I do on occasions. Or at least I try. I spend time for my health, both mental and physical, time to take care of others, time to tend to what needs mending. Endless chores that keep me grumbling for no reason at all. Neighbors and neighborhood, friends and family.
I spend time making sure I have enough assets to swap for the things I might need in the future, and for the times I barter assets for no damn reason at all...My, how we learn, as we go. Sometimes, even bartering when without resources, just by promising. Now the man at the store owns me. But not any more...my world, our world, this world of consciousness that we have created. This space where we figure things out. Our space, our little consciousness space where we make all our decisions to connect and share.
I spend time making sure I have enough assets to swap for the things I might need in the future, and for the times I barter assets for no damn reason at all...My, how we learn, as we go. Sometimes, even bartering when without resources, just by promising. Now the man at the store owns me. But not any more...my world, our world, this world of consciousness that we have created. This space where we figure things out. Our space, our little consciousness space where we make all our decisions to connect and share.
I have made 72 trips around the sun, and here I sit...making a connection with YOU...Pleasant evening to YOU...Doc
