...it is impossible to think of anything as nonexistent, since our thoughts are always on something that exists, has existed, or could potentially exist.
I remember reading that we all have a picture of ourselves, beneath the other trappings layered on to enhance or hide it, and hearing the argument that it was an overly simplistic idea and didn't account for the complexity of human life...those who think it's simplistic are often the ones with the narrow view.
I saw a guy rummaging through the garbage can this morning. One of the bike and backpack homeless I've seen around...didn't have any money on me, but I wouldn't have approached him anyway.
When a person is scavenging for food like that, he's not calling for help, but it's something that must be hard to do in front of people. I'm sure he knows what it looks like to others, I may not have stood aside like this a year ago, and offered to save him from such degradation with a few bucks, but now, it seems intrusive. I know the look on his face, I've seen it before, if there's food there, then it's something he got himself, past the shame reflex that would all come pouring down if interrupted in the act, like being caught with his pants down in public...I'm not sure it means that he hasn't felt that it hasn't come to begging yet, or that there's still some pride left even if a passerby would think otherwise...I won't judge him either, we all deal with homelessness differently and if he thinks scavenging is better than begging, I assume he's thought it through...
I discreetly watch and study how he operates...most people wouldn't know it but he's quite skilled and has an economy of motion that comes from practice..it looks like a successful night with the can outside of a restaurant and there's plenty of leftovers. I'm not pessimistic about my future but figure that it doesn't hurt to see how it's done...you never know, I could be like that in a few months. I've never known that level of hunger so it's a scene that gets tucked away, a mental note that this can is a good one...
St. Thomas Aquinas described the contemplation of God as the lifelong quest to understand an infinite power, that there would always be mystery and evolution of knowledge looking outwards...to see a picture of oneself isn't like having a cartoon or painting, it's the identity and from there comes outlook and experience. It's about where I've been, where I am now, and where I'm going.
His name is Al Handa...a man without a home, describing the homeless in his Delta Snake Review Blog...a homeless journal of sorts.
