The Sane Asylum Hysterical Society
Public Service Announcement :
When you are calling The Sane Asylum Hot Line...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press: no-one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 969696969696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have short term memory loss press 9, if you have short term memory loss press 9.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. Our operators cannot talk to you.
Thank you, this will speed up the transfer of your call...If you have short term memory loss press 9, if you have short term memory loss press 9.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. Our operators cannot talk to you.
